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I'm worried.

My Grandmother has been in and out of the hospital more times than I can count on all my fingers and toes over the past few months.

The drs don't know what is wrong with her, and I think that is what is worrying the family the most.

If there was only a name, a reason, for why she has been feeling the way she has we could all cope.

I've never been super close with my grandparents, and I'll admit I don't talk to them near as much as I should, but the thought of not having my grandmother around, or my opa around frightens me. They have always been sort of like a silent partner in my life and well being. Knowing that they have been there has given me a sense of comfort.

Now, with my Opa dealing with prostate cancer, and only given a couple more years to live, and my Grandmother with God knows what wrong with her I feel that slipping away.

I can't imagine how my parents feel. Both have only one of their parents left. My mom has her dad, and my dad has his mom. I know, and they know, that everyone must die eventually, but no one in the family is ready for it to happen just yet.

There is still so much more I want to know about my grandparents. So many questions I should have asked when I was younger, when there was more time, instead I was too busy being a kid, not caring

I've lost 2 grandparents that I knew very little about, and I don't want it to happen again, but how can I turn around 24 years of not being the grandchild I should have been?
I am very  much still alive.

Currently at NSCC in Dartmouth attempting to use this blasted Mac *grumble*. On the plus side.. the screen is HUGE and a half.

The real update...

Life is awesome!

Work is good
School is great
My love life couldn't be better if I had pulled it from a dream.

All in all everything is snazzy. My study partener is here now, so I must depart.


Have I ever been anything less than a good friend?

You couldn't.. no wouldn't go for me.. on my birthday of all days... but you can go SOBER with a few friends on a random day of the week...

Fuck you!
01. Do you have a tattoo?
02. How old are you?
03. Are you single or taken?
04. Eat with your hands or utensils?
05. What were you doing last time you daydreamed?
06. Ever seen a corpse?
07. Bob Dylan or Johnny Cash?
08. How did we meet on LJ?
09. Whats your philosophy on life and death?
10. If you could do anything with me, and have no one know, what would it be?
11. Do you trust the police?
12. Do you like Country music?
13. What is your fondest memory of fandom?
14. If you could change anything about yourself what would it be?
15. Would you cheat?
16. What do you wear to sleep?
17. Have you ever peed in a pool?
18. Would you hide evidence for me if I asked you to?
19. If I appeared on your doorstep, unexpected, what would we do together?
20. Which do you prefer - short or long hair?
21. Do you sing in the shower?
22. What's your favourite fruit?
23. If you could bring back anyone that has passed, who would it be?
24. Tell me one interesting/odd fact about you?
25. What was your first impression of me?
26. Have you ever done drugs?
27. Will you post this so I can fill it out for you?

Its not her...
or the fact that she is in your life that I have a problem with.
Its you...

You feed me all these lines about... how our friendship isn't going to change, and about how we're going to make time to hang out. I've tried to make time.. HELL, I have gotten your word that you're going to be there... and then you bail.

You come to the ultimate decision that going out drinking and partying is more important than the plans you have made with me. You ask to hang out at random times.. when its convenient to you. A lunch break here... and quick chat there.

I refuse to be a "convenience" friend. I believe that I deserve better from you than what I am getting.

I'm not #1 anymore, and fuck, I am fine with that...but everyday I feel like I am slipping farther and farther down that list!

I don't want to drift.. but I can't feel like I'm not important enough to make solid plans with...

Its been forever and a day since I have posted.. and quite honestly, may be forever and a day until I post again ( I'm just crazy like that )...

I had an AMAZING time!!!

I hope you did to, yes I am silly.. and sitting here at work worrying about it 

"I loathe people who own dogs, not brave enough to bite people themselves"

So... that is a REAL quote, someone kinda of famous said it... or something very similar (I'm too lazy to go hunt the website down again) 

I am now perusing that same website looking for more useless shit to post.. "why?" you might ask, 'cause if I don't do something I will pass out and I'm still on shift for another 2 hrs.

ok.. so that is all i've got right now... i'm bored


 So hey,

I'm excited.. so I'm posting.. this is my christmas present.. well one of them..


Its my baby :D

Comment, and I will TRY to comment back with a picture of the fictional character that most reminds me of you [at the moment]. Then post the same in your journal.